Yes There Is a Slight Chance He Might Actually Fail

I gave you a flower 
He gave you a whole bunch
He cut you a diamond
I cut you your lunch

I read you a pamphlet 
He wrote her a whole book
He paid them both to the movies 
I stole you a look

I cannot win 
Since the day we watched them move in

Another sick joke 
At my expense 
But you can't live your life 
With one eye over the fence

So I wrote you this song
She got an operatic medley
He bought her a car 
I doubled you on my treadly

I can't compete
Since they moved to our street

I candidly took your photo
But it came out a blur
In their hall hangs a portrait
He had commissioned for her

And on Valentine's Day
What was I to do
She got a ninety verse sonnet 
I struggled with a haiku

Makes me see red
But I still couldn't wish them both dead

I'm gonna fail
What if I fail
He's gonna fail
He could possibly fail
He could possibly fail
He's gonna fail